10 “Scary” Lesbian Halloween Costumes

1. BIG BOO (Orange Is the New Black) – The trouble with dressing as Big Boo is that we may not know if you’re in costume or if you’re just hanging out and it may cause an uncomfortable silence.

2. GYNECOLOGIST – If you’re the girl dressed in scrubs with a pair of stirrups attached to her shoulders, bobbing for apples, you may be the one who leaves with a date. Or a venereal disease. 50/50 chance here.

3. ANN COULTER – I attempted to write a blurb but even my keyboard was gagging.

4. THE FOSTERS: LENA AND STEF – Caution! If you’re attending the party as the ultra-sexy power couple you may be accosted by everyone, shouting things at you such as, “You want a threesome?”, or “Adopt me.” And by everyone, I mean me…

5. SETH ROGEN – It’ll be hilarious, actually. You should do it.

6. THE ENTIRE CAST OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN – If you and your crew roll into the party like this, how many people do you think will move out of your way so you can get to the buffet? Answer: ALL of them.

7. BRUCE JENNER – Oh stop!

8. FIREFIGHTER (LIKE THOSE TWO HOT GIRLS ON CHICAGO FIRE) – The scary part will be how many women will throw their cat into a tree or light their pants on fire just to have you come to their rescue.

9. A PAIR OF SCISSORS – you and your partner can freak out all of the heterosexuals as you demonstrate the most uncreative sexual position known to lesbiankind.

10. ROSIE O’DONNELL AND DONALD TRUMP – There’s always that one couple that can’t attend a gathering without causing a scene. Throw in a temper tantrum and some bad hair and this could be you.

Happy Halloween!

Chrissy Costa is a local comedian known for her dry wit, satirical style of comedy, and big earrings. Before doing stand-up she studied sketch comedy at Chicago’s famed Second City. You can follow her on Instragram and Facebook. (She / Her / Hers)