Dear Costa: Third Wheel to a K9

Dear Costa,

My girlfriend moved in with me and my dog, Apollo, about 9 months ago. She always got along with the dog but lately it seems she’s more interested in Apollo than she is with me. She never asks me if I’m ready to go to bed at the end of the night anymore but she calls the dog to come along and leaves me on the couch. One evening, I came home from work to quinoa and chicken cooking on the stove. I usually do the cooking but I was especially tired that night so I was happy that she had made dinner. When I asked what time dinner would be ready, she said “it depends on what you make”. I asked about the food on the stove and she explained that she made that for Apollo because he was sad that his paws got dirty when they were playing outside. Then just this week, as I sat with Apollo on the couch relaxing, she came into the living room and asked about going to the store. I said “okay, let me put my shoes on”. She said she was talking to the dog not me. I blew my top and told her she loves the dog more than she loves me. She said I was being ridiculous and left the house with the dog and didn’t come back for hours. I love her and my baby dog but I can’t be in a 3 way with a k-9. Please help!!!


You’re not in a 3-way relationship. You’re not even the side chick. You’re the third wheel. I’m not sure how you got there but it’s time to give your girlfriend her walking papers…

Signed, Costa

Photo by: Mara Rago

Chrissy Costa is a Pittsburgh-based stand up comedian, who has graced you with her virtual presence to answer all your lez-lady, queer-loving dating inquiries.

This article originally appeared on QueerPgh.com. This article is preserved as a part of the Q Archives project. Please consider donating to help preserve Pittsburgh’s Queer history.