U.S. Senator Graham (R-South Carolina) died of a hardened heart (no, seriously) on July 11 at age 71. He’d been in office since 1992, first as a state representative, then as a U.S. House member, and then, beginning in 2003, as senator.
And look, I know very well that it’s frowned upon to speak ill of the dead. But here’s why I’m going to do it anyway.
Graham spent his political life attacking people like me. He opposed LGBTQ+ rights, voting against marriage equality and discrimination protections every chance he got. I don’t owe this man, or anyone else who harms me or my family, a goddamn thing.
I graduated from high school in 1996. That same year, Graham voted for the Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage as an institution solely for one man and one woman. It also would’ve made it A-OK for states to refuse to recognize marriages between gay and lesbian couples if they so chose.
And a lot of them chose to! Anti-equality ballot measures exploded across the country.
According to Ballotpedia, “Since 1994, there were 45 statewide ballot measures related to same-sex marriage on the ballot. Out of these measures, there were 36 measures in 32 states to prohibit same-sex marriage or define marriage as between one man and one woman. Of these measures, 33 were approved.”
In other words, the majority of the country made it loud and clear that I did not deserve the legal right to marry. Kind of a bummer!
It wasn’t until 2015 that this nationwide discrimination fest was rectified by the Supreme Court in the Obergefell v. Hodges case.
Big surprise, Graham did not agree with the Obergefell ruling. He called himself “a proud defender of traditional marriage” in 2015 a statement.
In that same statement, he lamented that amending The Constitution to ban marriage equality outright, something he very much supported, was probably a no-go and instead committed himself to “ensuring the protection of religious liberties of all Americans.”
Of course, protecting “religious liberties” meant protecting people who use Christianity as an excuse to discriminate against people they don’t like. And it still does!
Back when he ran for president in 2016, Graham did not speak highly of Donald Trump, saying that if the Republican Party nominated Trump, “We will get destroyed…and we will deserve it.” He also called Trump “a race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot.”
But once Trump ascended to power, Graham was quick to cozy up to him. So much so that Trump called Graham “one of the greatest people and senators I have ever known” after his death.
Praise for Graham also came from Democrats.
“What I’ll remember most about Senator Graham was his sense of humor and how he deployed it to move his policy positions forward,” Sen. Adam Schiff (D-California) posted on Bluesky. “Though we did not often agree, Senator Graham was never disagreeable.”
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Massachusetts) posted on Bluesky, “Even though we disagreed on much, he was always willing to negotiate, with humor and wit.”
So glad to hear that Graham was a cutup. And I don’t know, maybe I just take things too personally, but I can’t help but find Graham’s staunch opposition to LGBTQ+ rights, love of war, and his fawning support for the fascist Trump regime “disagreeable.” At best.
Do I expect senators to post stuff like, “Fuck Lindsey Graham” after his death. No, that’s my job. And that’s my job because I have no real power here. Senators, on the other hand, do.
And when Democrats use that power to fawn over someone like Graham, they are making it very clear where they stand. They don’t stand with the people. They stand with the power.
And for what? Civility? So many people in the United States, not to mention worldwide, have been grievously harmed or killed by this administration. And guys like Graham had a big hand in that. ICE is still murdering people in the streets, we’re still at war with Iran, and Republicans are working fast and furious to dismantle democracy.
The only people who can afford civility are the people who don’t feel the pain that is inflicted on the rest of us. Senators aren’t going bankrupt because they can’t pay hospital bills, they aren’t going to be sent to die in a completely unnecessary war, they aren’t struggling to pay for groceries, they aren’t being snatched up by masked paramilitary thugs and disappeared.
Those are things that happen to the powerless. To people like you and me.
These same Democrats are going to tell you that voting for them in the 2026 midterms is a matter of life and death. Are they better than the Republicans? Yes. But there should be a much higher bar.