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Well, babes. We made it to the last day of August.
Summer isn’t technically over, but we all know what’s happening. Campuses are full again. The evenings are getting shorter. Somewhere in Pittsburgh, a decorative pumpkin is already plotting its takeover.
Before we tumble headfirst into September, though, this week’s Slay Weekly is about something that doesn’t belong to any particular season: Showing up for each other.
Sometimes that means recognizing that medical care isn’t the only kind of care someone needs. Sometimes it’s a teacher making sure a trans kid knows they belong in the classroom.
Community gets built in these moments. Someone notices. Someone cares. Someone does something. And suddenly, somebody else feels a little less alone.
That’s worth carrying with us into September.
Happy Monday, Pittsburgh. Let’s slay the week.
SLAY OF THE WEEK: Everybody Needs Their People
This week’s Slay of the Week goes to Crystal McKee and the members of Helping Hands, a peer-led support group for people living with HIV.
The idea started when Crystal, a PrEP navigator at Allies for Health + Wellbeing, noticed young Black men coming into the clinic and testing positive for HIV. They could get connected to medical care. They could get treatment. But Crystal realized there was something else she couldn’t give them herself: Their people.
People who understood what receiving an HIV diagnosis actually felt like. People who could talk about things they might not want to discuss with a healthcare worker. People who could share what they’d learned, offer advice, check in, and remind one another that they weren’t going through this alone.
So Crystal created Helping Hands. About eight to 10 people now gather monthly. They break bread together. They check in with one another. They talk about medication, relationships, stigma, trust, and life with HIV.
And friendships have grown from it.
The members have decided to extend the same spirit of care outward by collecting toiletries and other necessities for unhoused people living with HIV.
That’s the beautiful thing about a helping hand. Someone extends theirs to you. You get your footing. And eventually, you might find yourself reaching yours toward somebody else.
Now that’s a slay.
READER JOY: The Cat is Fashion
We have spent Slay Weekly celebrating community organizers, activists, artists, librarians, athletes, neighbors, and assorted queer troublemakers. Today we add another icon to the list. Danny DeVito.
No, not that one. Reader River wrote to tell us about their cat, Danny DeVito, who recently needed some dental work. Everything appears to have gone fine. There was, however, a consequence.
“They shaved his little leggies. He now has dumb little capris,” River wrote.
Dear reader, River sent photographic evidence.
And somehow “dumb little capris” undersells the situation.
Danny is serving cropped trouser. He’s serving recovery chic. He’s serving I have suffered an indignity and you WILL be hearing from my attorney.
And those little white socks underneath? Fashion.
Danny, we’re glad you’re getting taken care of, and River, thank you for providing exactly the kind of extremely important journalism our readers deserve.
SHARE YOUR JOY
One of our favorite parts of Slay Weekly is hearing from you.
Has something brought you joy recently? Maybe you made a new friend, started a new job, got engaged, finished a creative project, met an adorable dog, found an amazing queer-owned business, or simply had a moment that reminded you why you love this community.
Big or small, we’d love to celebrate it.
Send us an email and tell us what’s bringing you joy. Your story could be featured in an upcoming issue of Slay Weekly and help brighten someone else’s Monday.
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Queer Joy in the World: A Little Affirmation Goes a Long Way
There’s a pretty simple way teachers can help trans and nonbinary students thrive. Show them they belong.
Research has found that supportive practices from teachers are associated with trans and nonbinary students feeling safer at school, experiencing a greater sense of belonging, participating more, and doing better academically.
And we’re not talking about some impossibly complicated intervention.
Use a student’s name and pronouns. Include LGBTQ+ people and topics in the classroom. Support student-led LGBTQ+ groups. Speak up. Be affirming.
Make it clear through your actions, not merely your silence, that trans and nonbinary students are welcome there.
One idea from the research really stuck with us. Safety isn’t simply the absence of harm.
There’s a difference between a classroom where nobody is actively harassing a trans student and a classroom where that student knows their teacher sees them, respects them, and has their back.
That’s belonging.
And with students across the region now back in their classrooms, it’s a reminder that the adults occupying those spaces have enormous power to shape what this school year feels like.
You might think correctly using someone’s name is a tiny gesture. To the person hearing it? It might not feel tiny at all. Here’s to every educator making sure queer and trans students know there’s room for them in the classroom.
Keep showing up.
Maybe that’s what we’re taking with us as August slips into September. Notice who could use a hand.
You don’t have to solve everything. You probably can’t.
Crystal couldn’t personally understand every experience of someone living with HIV, so she helped create a place where people who did understand could find one another.
A teacher can’t make every difficult thing in a trans student’s life disappear. They can make their classroom one place where that student never has to wonder whether they belong.
And River couldn’t perform feline dentistry. Probably for the best. But they could make sure Danny got the care he needed, even knowing he’d return home dressed like he was headed to Sunday drag brunch at 5801.
That’s care, too.
We’re constantly being told that making the world better requires enormous gestures.
Sometimes it does. But most days, we’ve got smaller opportunities.
Send the text. Use the right name. Make the introduction. Check on your friend. Share what you have. Make room at the table. Extend your hand.
Because none of us gets through this thing entirely by ourselves.
Goodbye, August. You were hot, chaotic, occasionally wonderful, and over entirely too quickly. September, you’re up.
Take care of each other out there, Pittsburgh. We’ll see you next Monday.
Talk soon.
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