Lesbian Bar, Where Are You?

Dear Steel Town Lesbian,

I need your help. I recently moved to Pittsburgh from the west coast and I’ve been looking to meet women here, however, my efforts have been futile. Almost instantly after arriving and settling in, I googled ‘popular lesbian bars in Pittsburgh.’ I was beyond excited as I saw the amount of places that popped up, thinking I had an array of opportunity to bump into the love of my life. Upon further review I discovered the search resulted in the most random and eclectic venues; none of which I believe were lesbian bars, or hang-outs. I was pointed to a hookah bar, a sandwich shop famous for their fish sandwiches (seriously), a hotel, a restaurant that turned out to be great, but not filled with lesbians, a seafood buffet, a pizza shop and even a place for gyros called Lesvos Gyros. The few bars that were listed were gay, but not lesbian, and one was filled with men in leather; most of which looked shocked and angry at the one female in the joint. Needless to say, I quickly left before I was given a tour of the place. In fact, I didn’t see many women out even at the few gay bars that were listed. Where can a girl meet another girl in this town?

– Lesbian Bar, Where are you?

Dear Lesbian Bar, Where are you?

I nearly aspirated on my coconut water while reading your letter. I’m sorry you had to endure half-naked men in leather, a seafood buffet and fish sandwiches in your quest for female companionship. I am intrigued by the gyro shop, I’ll admit. I’m putting that on my to-do list as we speak. Listen, if you came to Pittsburgh hoping you’d find Kit and the gang serving up lattes and laughs at The Planet, or the lesbian version of Babylon, you may want to hightail it out of town. Pittsburgh was built on hard work and the ladies here are no different. I mean, what’s harder than two lesbians looking to find and understand one another? Nothing. Nothing is harder than that. The fact is we as women simply don’t go out as often as the boys. If we did, then we would have bars to call our own and we would sustain them. Even in the largest of cities you won’t find many lesbian bars. We like to get out but be honest; when Orange Is the New Black was released on Netflix, you stayed home and binge-watched every episode, right? I did. I even took time off of work to see how it all ended. And to be completely honest, it’s September and I’m still recovering from Pride this past June. As women we tend to “nest” more than men, and it’s okay.

However, there are still many ways to meet women here. There are no “boys only” signs up on all of the other gay bars in town…except for the all-male leather bar, of course. So go out and get chatty. The weekends are probably best, as more women come out. Over the years monthly events have been hosted for lesbians such as the Lez Liquor happy hours. We now have Impulse Pittsburgh, as well as iCandy Pittsburgh. Both serve the lesbian community with events, dance parties, fundraisers, comedy shows and other gatherings that are not all bar-oriented. There’s a queer event listing that women post events and info on, and there’s now the Wing Ma’am app where women can network with one another. So Pittsburgh isn’t L.A. That’s okay with us. If you keep your eyes peeled you may just find your “Shane”, if that’s your thing. Who’s to say we won’t someday make our own women’s-only leather club? It could happen. And if that doesn’t frighten you enough, there’s always online dating…

Chrissy Costa is a local comedian known for her dry wit, satirical style of comedy, and big earrings. Before doing stand-up she studied sketch comedy at Chicago’s famed Second City. You can follow her on Instragram and Facebook. (She / Her / Hers)