Ban This Poem!

Illustration by Joe Wos

The school banned a book today, we’re not allowed to read it.
I never wanted to read it before, but now I simply need it!
The school banned the book because a senator was upset.
I’m not sure what upset them, but it’s a book I’ve got to get.

I searched the school library on every shelf and nook,
I searched high and low but couldn’t find the book.
Where do banned books go? Is there an “Island of the banned?”
Are they shipped off far away? To some forbidden land?

The parents are picketing, the politicians are mad.
I don’t know what is in that book, but it must be pretty bad!
The book has caused a stir in town, of that there is no doubt.
I’ve asked, but no one seems to know what the book’s about!

We talked about the book today while riding on the bus.
Finally, we figured out what was causing all the fuss.
The book is about a duck, who happens to be gay.
Some people fear if you read the book then you will “turn that way!”

A waterfowl in a children’s book is causing quite a ruckus,
No other book has ever caused the stir that little duck is.
I didn’t know ducks were dangerous, but I’ve got to take a look!
I’ve got to know what that duck is doing inside that forbidden book!

Gay, Gay, Gay, it’s word you cannot say!
If you say that word, they will take your book away!
So what! Who cares if the duck is married to a drake.
Why should anyone care what happens in privacy of their own lake!

The man on the TV called the book a “liberal plot”!
The librarian on the TV said that “It is not!”
The preacher in the pulpit said “if you read it, you’ll be damned!”
But I once chewed gum in church, so I think I already am.

On the radio they are shouting about the author and his plan!
“Protect our kids” They yell as they boycott and they ban.
“They should throw the book at him, lock him up, throw away the key!”
If they are going to throw the book, I wish they would throw that book at me!

I really want to read it, but I don’t know where to look?
All the schools and libraries have banned that “awful” book!
My parents took me to the bookstore, and there on display
Was the banned book about the duck who happened to be gay.

My parents read through it, and said that it was fine.
Now at last I have the book, and it’s mine all mine!
I rushed home and read it and the duck has two fathers.
What? that’s it? That’s all? What was all the bother?

I liked the book a lot, but still don’t understand,
Why anyone thought a book about a duck, should be banned.
Oh… and…
If you are thinking I turned gay, then you are out of luck.
Because after I read the book, I turned into a duck.

Illustration by Joe Wos
Joe Wos sits around all day drawing funny pictures. He is left-handed.