In the late hours OF November 8, 2016, it is believed between two to eight transgender youths committed suicide. Although the exact numbers are unconfirmed, both Trans Lifeline and The Trevor Project saw a surge of phone calls. Unfortunately they were unable to answer all of them. The majority of the calls were from LGBT youth in response to our current president’s win. Perhaps the adult LGBT community should be taken to task. Are we failing the LGBT youth community?
When I was 21 and in college, I remember asking what we could do for LGBT youth in meetings of the college LGBT group. An awkward mood would always fill the room. I felt I was asking a taboo question that always seemed to lead to these frustrating and repetitive answers: “We can’t because we’re over the age of 18,” “We tried that once and it didn’t work out,” and, my personal favorite, “I went through it without help from the LGBT adult community.”
Here’s the truth you’re probably not going to like: It’s not your age that’s the problem—it’s your fear.
“WE CAN’T BECAUSE WE’RE OVER THE AGE OF 18.” Why does your age have anything to do with your ability to help, educate, and support the LGBT youth? Here’s the truth you’re probably not going to like: It’s not your age that’s the problem—it’s your fear. You’re scared that if any of us approach a school or after-school program saying we’d like to start a support program for LGBT youth that we’re going to be seen as wanting to prey or “turn” those poor innocent, heterosexual children. And you’re not wrong because that’s how many will view it.
“WE TRIED THAT ONCE AND IT DIDN’T WORK OUT.” I can’t imagine where we would be if all the LGBT people before us just tried fighting for our basic human rights, failed and gave up. If it were so easy to do these things for our community we wouldn’t still have laws in many states that give us no protection from losing our jobs, being kicked out of apartments, and basically just existing. (See North Carolina attempting to ban gay marriage despite the Supreme Court ruling and the many anti-transgender bathroom laws.)
You are making it sound as though suffering alone as a young LGBT person is some type of rite of passage. This isn’t Sparta. There’s no rite of passage that if you “survive” you get to be one of us.
“I WENT THROUGH IT WITHOUT HELP FROM THE LGBT ADULT COMMUNITY.” Well good for you. Was it easy? Was it enjoyable to be the “gay kid” and feel left out of a lot of things within the youth community? And that’s even if you’re out to anyone. When I get this response it makes me incredibly angry. You are making it sound as though suffering alone as a young LGBT person is some type of rite of passage. This isn’t Sparta. There’s no rite of passage that if you “survive” you get to be one of us. There is, however, the truth that by not being willing to help the LGBT youth community, some will not survive. LGBT youth die all the time by suicide and some by the hands of others.
Yes, we have organizations like The Trevor Project, which are there for LGBT youth to reach out to, but why should most of these children hide in the closets of their homes quietly crying into a phone to a stranger who can only give them reassuring quotes and hope they make it through the night? That’s not how it works. We are the adults. They are the children. We should be reaching out to them!
In almost every school throughout the country there are programs for Christians, people of color, and those dealing with mental health struggles, but the only LGBT groups I see are those started by the very youth whom we should be helping. The harsh reality is that we do not do enough. If they survive the rough isolation of being LGBT, especially in a small town, when they do finally turn eighteen and start participating with their community, they become overwhelmed almost immediately.
…the only LGBT groups I see are those started by the very youth whom we should be helping. The harsh reality is that we do not do enough.
I leave you with a quote from my favorite gay fictional character, Albus Dumbledore: “We must choose between what is right and what is easy.” I’d like to see more LGBT youth-focused groups be more proactive and reach out to schools and after-school programs to help start support groups—a place where LGBT youth can come together and get factual information and their questions answered. If we wait to support them when they feel the world is crashing down around them, it’s too late.
We must do more.