That burp you hear isn’t the belching of topselling Tupperware saleslady, Dixie Longate, but the unmistakable sealed-in-for-freshness burp of her famous plastic containers.
You’re invited to “Dixie’s Tupperware Party,” playing at the CLO Cabaret in Theatre Square. Dixie packed up her catalogues and came back to Pittsburgh for a return engagement. She sold out last time, so get your tickets now!
Dixie Longate, America’s favorite Tupperware lady, came from Mobile Alabama. As the story goes, Longate moved out to Los Angeles with her three kids and her trailer in tow.
Chloe Sevigny (AKA actor and comedian Drew Droege) said, “This woman is hopelessly drunk and deliriously exciting. Buy a colander from her!”
Longate described her ascent into Tupperware superstardom. She said, “I started selling the fantastic plastic crap in 2001 and I have never had so much fun drinking for free in my life. Within a year, I was one of the top sellers in the nation, because, well, me and some plastic bowls, and a bunch of drunk women somehow equals lots of sales.”
In 2007, the saleswoman sold $219,000 of merchandise in her best year selling Tupperware. Longate said, “Can you believe it? That is a truck load of plastic food storage solutions.”
Longate described her journey from Tupperware party lady to mega-superstar in a few brief words. She said, “My Tupperware party caught the eye of some New York Theatre producers. In 2007, I had a big opening in my own show, ‘Dixie’s Tupperware Party.’ It ran off-Broadway and got a Drama Desk Award nomination for Outstanding Solo performance. I know, shut up, right! Now, over 800 performances later, I’ve shown my bowls in five countries since the tour started in 2008.”
Longate added, “Thirteen years later, I have never looked back. Unless there is someone whistling at me. Then, I am libel to swing my head all the way around like that lady in the Exorcist movie.”
The Tupperware lady has become quite fond of the Steel City, and she’s excited to return.
“I am anxious to come back to Pittsburgh because I had a blast the last time. Fall in Pittsburgh is gorgeous. I have my big furry muff already packed in case it gets too cold.”
She said, “I loved Pittsburgh back when I was there. I am extremely excited to come back because I feel like I only scratched the surface when I as there. I mean, I met so many neighborly people. I want to a game at the big stadium, I had a sandwich smothered in French fries and I had a smiley face cookie. The fountain at the Point was busted, but I hear that is its working finally. Well, I can’t wait to see it shooting up in all its glory.
She spoke highly of the local citizens. She said, “Any time I went out, people were always giving me directions and rubbing up on my leg. Y’all are just neighborly people. It’s like being in the south, but a whole lot more north.”
She’s ready to pack away some of Pittsburgh finest foods to bring back in her famous Tupperware. Liongate said, “When I was there the last time, I went to the ‘O’ and got some French fries and some cheese sauce. First of all, I have to admit that it was one of the best things I ever had in my mouth. Amazing! And they weren’t at all skimpy on the fries. When they came out with this giant basket, I thought I had to share them with about 128 people. And that was just the small order of fries! Jeez! If they came out with the large fry basket, I think I might poop my pants right there and then!” Longate has a piece of Tupperware for every occasion. She has a special item to recommend to Pittsburghers. She said, “The one item Pittsburgher’s need most is without a doubt, the wine bottle opener. Because please, as the weather starts changing and you might want to take a fall picnic, or if you are just driving somewhere in bumper-to-bumper traffic, waiting for a nasty storm to pass, who doesn’t like a bottle of wine? With the Tupperware wine bottle opener, it’s almost like you’re holding a little piece of Jesus’ love right in your hand. Faster than you can say, ‘why do you smell like granny’s feet?’ that bottle is opened up and you are enjoying the contents.”
You can find Dixie and her Tupperware at the CLO Cabaret Theater, 655 Penn Avenue, Pittsburgh. She’ll be hocking her wares from September 4 to October 12. For more information call 412-456-666 or http://www.pittsburghclo.org
