The decision on May 20 by a federal judge to strike down Pennsylvania’s ban on same-sex marriage has changed the course for many LGBT couples across the state. For 19 couples who were the first to get married on June 15 by Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, the day was particularly special.
“It was an honor to preside over such a meaningful and historic ceremony,” the mayor said in an email. “Throughout the 198-year history of the City of Pittsburgh, that moment had never been possible before. From the time the ruling was announced, I knew that I wanted the marriage of an LGBT couple to be the first I officiated as mayor.”
With Pittsburgh Pride happening less than 30 days from the ruling, it “just made sense” to perform the ceremony that weekend. Details for this special event were led by Sean Gray of Sean Gray International.
“I have supported marriage equality throughout my career and am very pleased say that the Mayor’s Office doors are now open to honor all marriages,” he said. “Welcome to the new Pittsburgh.”
The mayor’s office recently announced plans to set aside one day per month to field the hundreds of requests Peduto has received to officiate ceremonies.
Some of the couples who took part in that first day shared their stories, all of which included joy, love and appreciation for the city of Pittsburgh.
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CINDY NEITZ and CHRISTINE ALLEN
At first, Cindy Neitz and Christine Allen wanted to get married by a mayor or justice of the peace as a practical matter.
The couple met in 1996 after “bumping into each other with friends,” Cindy says. Since then, they’ve bought a house and have lived together in Sewickley since 2001.
“I hope that I’m the last generation that thinks marriage was not an option,” Christine, 48, says, adding that in the past, the couple had even considered moving to New York or Canada. “I didn’t think it would ever be real.”
Christine reached out to Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto’s office.
“I thought of calling Mayor Peduto right away, he’s such an ally, a longtime ally,” she says. The couple also received a hearty response from Sewickley Mayor Brian Jeffe. “Torn between two mayors, it was a very unusual thing.”
Ultimately, the group ceremony appealed to them. Christine says she wasn’t nervous until that morning.
From the time they arrived at the City-County building that morning, through the personalized ceremony with the mayor, and the catered reception at the Fairmount Hotel, Christine says the entire day was joyous.
The work of the mayor and his staff – all on volunteer time – to plan and execute such an intimate yet public event, left the pair humbled and honored to have taken part in it, Christine says.
“He has a real way of making everyone feel comfortable,” she says. “He was marrying us. At no time did we feel like another tick on the list.”
Christine says she knows there’s more work to be done for equality with the state antidiscrimination bill stuck in legislation, but she owes the day to all those who have come before her working toward marriage equality.
“Pittsburgh is a wonderful place,” she says. “It wasn’t until the day of that I understood the enormity and the symbolism of it.”
SAMEER SAMUDRA and AMIT GOKHALE
Originally from India, Sameer Samudra and Amit Gokhale have adopted Pittsburgh as a second home after Columbus, Indiana, where they have been together for 11 years after meeting on an online dating website.
“We are very proud of who we are, including out ethnicity and our heritage,” says Sameer, 40, which is why the pair decided to wear sherwani jackets, traditional dress for formal occasions and grooms in India.
While same-sex marriage is not yet recognized in Indiana, friends suggested the couple should get married in Pittsburgh, where they visit often, says Amit, 37.
“We never really thought we could get married any time soon,” he says. “(The city) really opened their hearts for this occasion.”
Following the ceremony, the couple joined with the other 18 couples to march in the Pride March, where Amit says he could feel a strong sense of community that was celebratory and inspiring.
“I could see (the marchers) were equally happy to see us married and happy,” he says.
Sameer says since then, the significance of being married legally has really made a difference in their relationship.
“For me, the most important thing is I have equal rights in whatsoever way as any other couple,” he says. “I introduce him as my husband and that document gives me that authority … it took our relationship to the next level.”
KARLA and TERRY COWDEN-BOLSTER
After being together 21 years, Karla and Terry Cowden-Bolster of Beechview had never before been to Pittsburgh Pride, but are glad they can count this year’s event as particularly special.
“We never wanted anything big, we never wanted anything that was going to bring a lot of attention to ourselves, but it just happened that way,” says Karla, 48. “It wasn’t like we made a big deal about our wedding, but our wedding was a big deal.”
The couple, who met in college at Slippery Rock University but started dated years later, had a commitment ceremony in Provincetown, Mass., in 1995, but still wanted to get married in their home state.
“Just to finally say we’re equal … I wanted to be equal, that’s all,” says Terry, 47.
The pair were particularly excited to have their two adult children and three living parents there to witness the ceremony with Terry particularly proud to have Karla’s parents participate alongside them in the march.
“They’ve always been very accepting of me, but they’re older … that was a real treat, it was special, it certainly was,” she says.
Karla says the celebration was “impeccable,” with each couple able to take home a twotiered cake for themselves mimicking a much larger cake decorated at the Fairmount.
“It was amazing,” she says. “Honestly, when I called I didn’t care if I was the first couple or the 100th, it didn’t matter to us, it was really something, they did a splendid job.”
The mayor’s office now plans to set aside one day per month to field the other requests Peduto has received to officiate ceremonies.
The day will vary depending on the number of requests and the mayor’s schedule, but sameand opposite-sex couples will be welcome with guests if interested.
