Coming of age in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, I watched such situational comedies as The Facts of Life, Who’s the Boss, Growing Pains, Family Ties, and The Cosby Show. Not surprisingly, none featured any “openly” gay characters. Although these sitcoms, with their canned laughter, pimpleless faces, predictable conflicts, and tidy resolutions, comforted me, they also reinforced that I was different.
No, Kirk Cameron did not make me swoon. Michael J. Fox’s Tiger Beat picture was not thumb-tacked to my bulletin board. I failed to understand why my mom wanted the “hunky’’ Tony
Danza to vacuum her carpets. I neither “aaaahed” nor “oooohed” with the audience when Dr. and Mrs. Heathcliff danced cheek-tocheek, and nothing disappointed me more than a Facts of
Life episode about the Eastland girl’s boyfriends, or, even worse, the prom.
Accordingly, growing up gay during a television era of relative “gay absence” complicated and stunted my acceptance/coming-out process. Without the ability to self- identify with any television actors or characters, my feelings, desires, and crushes — frankly — scared me,
disgusted me, and ultimately culminated in me asking one of the most dangerous questions an adolescent can ask: “What is wrong with me?”
Then, in 1993, something happened.
MY INITIAL REACTION WAS PURE PANIC AND EMBARRASSMENT. WHY WAS HE TELLING ME THIS? DID HE KNOW ABOUT ME?
My dad and I were walking together, and, seemingly out-of-the blue, he told me that Amanda Bearse, the woman who played Marcy, the quintessential pesky next door neighbor on the hit sitcom, Married with Children, had publicly come out as a lesbian.
My initial reaction was pure panic and embarrassment. Why was he telling me this? Did he know about me? Had he read my journals and decoded my topsecret language to decipher that I was hopelessly in love with my best friend?
As if sensing my discomfort, my dad proceed to tell me how brave he thought Amanda Bearse was, how the cast of Married with Children fully supported her, and how it made no difference to him whether she was gay or straight because love is love.
I barely responded to my dad’s comments. I shrugged them off with a teenager’s “that’s cool” or its equivalent. But, two major things resulted from that conversation:
One, I routinely started to watch Married with Children, a show I previously disliked. I loved Ed O’Neil, Christina Applegate, and Katie Segal, for supporting my unlikely secret hero, Amanda Bearse, who, it turned out, had impeccable comedic timing, appeared to be just like everyone
else on television, and was decisively not “disgusting” — which, in turn, helped me to feel less disgusting.
Two, when I did come out years later, my dad was the first person I told.
Since 1993 and Amanda Bearse’s historic coming out (she was the first prime time actress to do so) on television, the proverbial mirror of society, has featured significantly more gay characters,
including, but not limited to the timeline below. I hope it inspires you to keep turning on your TV.
- 1994: IKEA aired what many consider to be the first “gay television advertisement.”
- 1994: My So-Called Life featured a 15-year old gay teenager, “Rickie,” and chronicled his crush on a straight friend.
- 1995: Roseanne aired an on-air kiss between a straight-identifying character, Roseanne Barr, and a “possible lesbian character” played by Mariel Hemingway.
- 1995: Star Trek featured a kiss between two women.
- 1996: Friends celebrated a lesbian wedding, yet the brides did not kiss.
- 1997: Spin City featured a gay mayoral aide, whom many critics praised for defying gay stereotypes.
- 1997: Ellen DeGeneres came out on Oprah. Thereafter, her fictional character, Ellen Morgan, came out to her fictional therapist, who was played by Oprah. Accordingly, Ellen became the first openly lesbian actor to play the lead role as a lesbian in a television sitcom, and in doing so, changed LGBT television forever.
- 1997: ER featured a doctor who just happened to be a lesbian. No big deal.
- 1997: The ABC drama, Relativity (which, sadly, has faded into obscurity), aired an intimate, open-mouth kiss between two women, both of whom identified as lesbians.
- 1998: Will and Grace debuted. Journalists criticized the show for perpetuating gay stereotypes, yet praised it for not shying away from gay topical issues and for promoting gay visibility.
- 2000: Queer as Folk first debuted in the United States and followed the lives of five gay men in Pittsburgh (woohoo).
- 2001: On Friends, Jennifer Aniston’s character, Rachel, kisses an old friend from college, Melissa, played by Winona Ryder. After the kiss, Melissa confesses her love for Rachel.
- 2001: Buffy the Vampire Slayer portrayed an evolving lesbian relationship, which many critics commend as the first accurate depiction of a same-sex relationship on television between two continuing, main characters.
- 2001: Six Feet Under’s nuanced portrayal of main character, David Fischer (portrayed by the talented Michael C. Hall), who struggles with reconciling his sexual orientation with his religious and political beliefs, is praised for defying one-dimensional gay stereotypes/experiences. Moreover, the misconception that an actor who plays a “gay character” will be typecast is shattered when Michael C. Hall goes on to portray the heterosexual, serial killer character, Dexter Morgan, in the acclaimed series, Dexter.
- 2002: The Wire introduced the first regular Asian-American lesbian, Detective “Kima” Greggs, on television. Notably, Detective Greggs’ “lesbianism” is incorporated throughout the series rather than being dropped on the viewer from the get-go.
- 2003: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy debuted. Although successful, viewers, including former Congressman Barney Frank, criticized it for perpetuating the stereotype that gay men have a better fashion sense than straight men.
- 2004: Desperate Housewives, created by an openly gay writer Marc Cherry, included not only a gay couple who moved to the conservative, suburban Wisteria Lane, but also, a “gay son” who struggled with coming out to his conservative family.
- 2004: On The Simpsons, Marge Simpson’s sister revealed her intent to enter a same-sex marriage.
- 2004: The L Word debuted. Reviewers criticized it for failing to accurately portray lesbian diversity, yet praised it for successfully countering the notion of “lesbian death bed.”
- 2006: Actor Neil Patrick Harris, who plays the lady’s man on the hit show, How I Met Your Mother, confirms he is gay, saying, “I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man, living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love.”
- 2007: Barbara Walters airs a powerful 20/20 Special regarding transgender youth.
- 2007: Private Practice and The Closer deliver unequivocal messages of embracing and protecting gay youths.
- 2007: A positive trend began of portraying gay people as part of everyday life rather than part of a storyline. For example, in a Saturday Night Live skit, a gay couple is included at a dinner party not as a part of the joke, but rather, as guests who just happen to be in attendance; in Smallville, one of the characters gives concert tickets to a male colleague, and, in response, the male colleague thanks him and informs him that his boyfriend will enjoy the show; and in How I Met Your Mother, a male couple holds hands in the background of a scene.
- 2007: Ugly Betty delivers the crucial messages of acceptance of gay or questioning youth.
- 2008: Brothers and Sisters, a show praised for its equal treatment of gay and straight characters, featured a gay wedding of one of its main characters.
- 2009: Glee debuted and features LGBT high school characters, who deal with adolescent issues such as relationships, fitting in, break-ups, etc.
- 2009: Modern Family hailed by The New York Times as the “best new half hour of funny television “portrays a gay couple, who has adopted a child.
- 2010: The Real L Word debuted, following the lives of six gay women in Los Angeles, showing the world that lesbians are often just as boring as heterosexuals.
- 2011: Transgender Chaz Bono dances on Dancing with the Stars.
- 2011: Grey’s Anatomy raises lesbian visibility by airing a wedding between two main characters and, this time, the brides do kiss.
- 2012: The New Normal debuts and is criticized for perpetuating stereotypes. It is said to feature “more gay jokes per minute than even a car of teenage boys could conjure up.”
- 2012: Huffington Post found that 27 percent of television viewers surveyed indicated that the visibility of openly gay characters on such shows as Glee, The New Normal, and Modern Family resulted in a favoring opinion of gay marriage.
